Welcome to the new year; it’s time to take a personal inventory. You survived the holidays, which are often equal parts celebration and stress, and the latter may have you decide you need to make a change in your relationship. As you review your priorities and plan for the coming year, here are some important things to keep in mind when it comes to marriage and divorce.
Make the Healthy Decision
When your relationship has reached the point that you are considering divorce, a lot of negative emotions are in play – anger, hurt, and resentment, to name a few. You and your spouse may be fighting more often or barely communicating while tension builds. Before going out with a bang, give some thought to how this will play out. Words said spontaneously – especially in the middle of a fight – may come back to haunt you. As we learned from some mental health experts, it’s better to have serious conversations about your relationship calmly after careful thought.
Dealing With a Narcissist
- Making copies of key documents, including financial, ownership, identification, and other information that will be vital for the divorce process and that you will need after the divorce.
- Creating a secret war chest, since divorce is expensive, and you may find your narcissistic spouse will take steps to cut you off from your marital assets.
- Consulting with an experienced family law attorney who can guide you through the process.
- Taking care of yourself. Congratulations, you are ready to make a break from the narcissist in your life; you’ve probably suffered trauma, so take the time to heal and energize for the fight ahead.
Think Through the Way You Want the Divorce to Go
Every marriage is different, and there are as many different ways to reach a final divorce. If you think you can work with your spouse, consider the less expensive and less bitter options of mediation or collaborative divorce. A negotiated divorce may not give you everything you want, but it is less risky than a trial where the judge has the final say. Also, consider the practicalities of your situation. Is moving out the right thing for you? Because of the many ways that a divorce can be handled, it is a good idea to confer with an experienced family law attorney.