Parenting in the summertime is always a challenge since it requires adjusting to the disruption in the ordinary school year routine. Still, co-parenting makes planning and implementing a successful summer particularly difficult. Even if the relationship between the parents is cordial, the compressed 10+ weeks of summer involve multiple things like managing schedules, travel, and other demands. Here are some practical tips for planning, implementing, and surviving the dog days of summer as a co-parent.
Start With the Summer Basics in a Written Agreement
The ideal time to begin planning for summertime challenges is when negotiating a co-parenting or custodial agreement. If both parents are clear on their respective responsibilities for arranging and paying for summer activities, longer vacation opportunities, time with family, and other aspects of summer, it can make each summer a little easier to manage. Sleep-away camp or summer child-care arrangements may impact the usual custodial schedule, so fair ways to balance these changes should be included. Issues like advance permission for interstate or international travel can be considered and addressed in the agreement so that they don’t come as a disruptive surprise when one of the parents plans the trip of a lifetime. Consider consulting with an experienced family law attorney to identify specific issues to resolve in the agreement and what formal paperwork might be needed for things like obtaining a passport and permission to leave the country.
Online Shared Calendars are a Must
Two households mean two different sets of schedules to accommodate, and it will always be a little more difficult to coordinate with the other parent. The best way to plan and implement the summer schedule is to establish a shared online calendar where both parents can input important dates, such as summer camps, vacations, and other activities. There are dozens of options, from the ubiquitous Google calendar to apps that have been developed specifically for co-parenting. Free and paid parenting apps can easily be downloaded. Be sure to use the resources of the calendar to highlight which parent is responsible for things like pick-up and drop-off at camp. Make sure to regularly update the calendar and keep alerts on so that changes made by the other parent receive immediate attention.
Plan for It
In addition to the written agreement, every parent should start planning summer early as programs like camps and classes get sold out. Spring should be the latest time to look into possibilities for activities and care options that will keep the kids occupied, engaged, and safe during the break. Regardless of the options, be sure to communicate with the co-parent about how a camp or other activity might impact the custodial schedule and work schedules when planning drop-offs and pickups.
Paying For It
Summer brings a variety of expenses that the parents need to plan for and agree on payment terms. Each child will be different, and each parent’s means can be an issue in budgeting. The support element of the co-parenting agreement should address an equitable financial arrangement for activities like camp and daycare. If one parent has significantly higher income, a proportional distribution of costs may be more equitable. When planning to pay for summer activities, each parent should be clear about the support obligations. For example, if a camp requires a deposit and the other parent is only obliged to reimburse for the expense, then be prepared to budget to advance the entire deposit when it is due.
Effective co-parenting during summer vacation requires collaboration, flexibility, and a focus on your child’s well-being. By planning ahead and having a communication mechanism like a shared calendar, it is possible to create a positive experience for everyone involved.