During a high conflict divorce, many parents would agree that the most valuable thing among all the assets involved, is the children. Parents should keep the children out of the line of fire when they are struggling through a tumultuous divorce. To properly do this, there is a need for a qualified divorce/custody attorney to ensure a smooth transition and minimize any lasting damage.
Here are five ways you can protect your children during a high conflict divorce:
- Avoid conflict in front of your children – It is important to keep up appearances for the children’s sake. You should do your best to put a smile on your face and remain civil when you and your partner must interact with your children. You may be tempted to argue with your spouse at this time, but this is not advised, because it may make your children anxious or leave lingering effects.
- Do not burden your children with the details – Your child will most likely have questions about what is happening and how it will affect their lives. You need to be upfront and honest about what is going on, but you can omit all the hurtful details about your marital relationship. You will be doing your children a favor by sparing them the details of your marriage. Parents may run the risk of having them resent either or both of you at this delicate time.
- Promote interaction – Even though right now your spouse may not be your favorite person to be around, you still need to promote interaction between your spouse and your children so that the transition will be less jarring. Unless your child is in physical danger around your spouse, you should encourage a healthy relationship.
- Pick your battles – It is important to be able to adjust by letting go of insignificant and inconsequential matters. Try hard not to put your ego ahead of the big picture. This will be in the best interest of a healthy co-parenting relationship.
- Do not speak ill of the other parent – This may be the hardest thing you have to do, but it is necessary. Your child may be upset by the hurtful remarks you make. At the very least maintain a neutral tone when speaking on sensitive matters concerning the other parent.
A lot of stress can be placed on children during a high conflict divorce, so it is important to protect them by creating an environment full of love and support.
If you are ready to take the next step and contact a divorce lawyer, then contact one who is experienced with these situations. I have served as a divorce/family lawyer for over 25 years. If you are a Maryland or Washington, DC resident contemplating separation or divorce, contact me for a no-obligation consultation (202.441.2107) to discuss doing so. If you choose to move forward, we can conduct our meetings remotely and discreetly or safely in person.