In the most recent edition of Ask Lloyd, Coach Alex Ray joined Lloyd to talk about personal coaching. Coach Alex has developed a unique approach to developing self-confidence in his LGBTQIA+ clients, using coaching methods to help them work through insecurity and other life challenges. IN a wide-ranging conversation, Coach Alex and Lloyd talked about their work, motivations, and the ways that personal coaching can be of significant use to a person thinking about or going through a divorce.
What is Personal Coaching?
Coach Alex has an excellent analogy to explain the difference between psychotherapy and personal coaching. Therapy helps a patient to work through past trauma, while coaching takes a client where they are in the moment and looks forward. “I think of it as the difference between physical therapy to heal from an injury and personal training to build new skills,” says Coach Alex. Both are useful, and often necessary for a person who feels stuck. A personal coach will help a client explore how they want to appear in their own lives and develop an actionable plan for realizing specific goals.
Coaching and Relationships
According to Coach Alex, when evaluating a relationship with a client, he first asks them to explore why they want to have a primary relationship. It could be finding a partner to challenge you to be your best, someone to share in life’s adventures, or a safe place to call home. He then asks them to assess whether their partner meets this goal, and also look at their partner’s goals and be honest about whether they are showing up in a compatible way. With these fundamental questions answered, they can then work on how to get their needs met – can the relationship deliver, or is it time to consider moving on?
Coaching and Divorce
Divorce is a major life transition, and it isn’t easy to navigate alone. Deciding to get a divorce, going through the process, and emerging into a new phase of life each present challenges both emotionally and practically. While a family law attorney provides counsel on the legal aspects of a divorce, Lloyd notes that he also serves as a resource to his clients. Lloyd believes it is important for his clients to emerge in a better place, and he often refers his clients to other professionals to help. “Personal coaching offers a structured, practical context for my clients to explore their situation, decide on outcomes, and create concrete goals that I can help them achieve.”
If you are considering a divorce, working with a trained professional can help make this important decision. Contact Lloyd to review your legal options, and be certain to ask for additional resources like personal coaching to make this life change one for the better.