In his decades of practice as a family law attorney, Lloyd Malech has consistently infused compassion into his representation of clients, who are often in one of the most stressful times in their lives. In his recent episode of the video series “Ask Lloyd,” he had a lively exchange with Jennifer Gularson, PA-C, IFMPC, a practitioner of functional and aesthetic medicine in Rockville, Maryland. They discussed the very real toll family law cases can take on a person’s physical and mental health and shared some important best practices to help build resilience and manage stress.
The Toxicity of Stress
A radical change in life, divorce inevitably leads to stress, which can manifest in a range of symptoms that impact well-being. Jennifer pointed out that people can normalize the stress rather than try to reduce it.
Symptoms of Stress:
- Hormone imbalance
- Gastrointestinal distress
- Sleep Issues
- Anxiety and depression
- Attention deficit challenges
- Chronic fatigue
Divorce rarely happens in isolation. The rest of life continues, with children, work, and family demanding attention. Divorce just makes the schedule even busier, and these other priorities will not receive the attention they deserve if the divorce process is creating stress-related impacts on body and mind.
Managing With Simple Steps
Jennifer offered many valuable suggestions for making simple lifestyle adjustments that can help reduce the impact of a stressful divorce.
Sleep
Sleep is a critical time for a healthy body. Practicing good sleep hygiene can make a significant difference in resilience during the day. Putting all electronics to charge in another room, decluttering the bedroom, and avoiding exercise too close to bedtime are all strategies to help the body fall and stay asleep. During sleep, the brain is not the only system getting a reset. Jennifer had some vital advice about timing meals well before going to bed so that the gastrointestinal system can function properly. She recommends a 12-hour fasting rule (e.g., 8-8), avoiding high-calorie foods late in the day, and ensuring a high-protein breakfast.
Nutrition
Nutritional choices don’t just impact sleep. What you eat can affect not only your weight but also how you feel physically and emotionally. Cortisol, which is released in high-stress situations, can cause some people to eat more, while others may lose interest in food. Regardless of how it impacts you, commit to a nutritious diet with heavy emphasis on lean proteins, fruits, and vegetables. Avoid overcompensating with high-carbohydrate foods, alcohol, or other things that are hard on the body. Approaching meals mindfully also has significant benefits. Using meals as a time away from other considerations, making a point to chew thoroughly, and carving out time to sit and eat instead of grazing will have beneficial effects.
Exercise
Something as simple as taking a walk can be beneficial for stress relief. Getting outside with the dog combines fresh air, exercise, and a chance to connect with a beloved pet. Jennifer also recommends trying yoga and Pilates. She warns against too much of a good thing and suggests avoiding high-intensity exercises that cause the release of additional cortisol, leaving the body in a state of high stress.
The Two Types of Support
When leaning on your family, friends, and community during a divorce, it is important to be clear about your needs. Sometimes, you may need to vent without any problem-solving, and others may be strategy sessions. Be explicit with your supporters about what you need because not getting the sympathetic ear or counseling you need can make you feel frustrated and misunderstood.
Body and Mind Practices
It can be hard to stop dwelling on the uncertainty of the future, the regrets of the past, and the challenges of the present. To handle these overwhelming thoughts, both Lloyd and Jennifer had important suggestions. In addition to meditation, something as simple as box breathing can be incredibly beneficial. For intrusive thoughts, Lloyd believes that an appointment with your family law attorney can be a reality check on some of your biggest concerns, past, present, or future. Jennifer recommends journaling. Writing it all out can make it easier to put things into perspective, and she notes that it can be a placeholder for later consideration rather than ruminating. Lloyd shared the tip that addressing your journal to your attorney makes it a privileged communication, so that your ex can’t try to demand to see it as part of the divorce discovery process.
Every person handles stress and trauma differently, but addressing the impact on your body and mind can make a critical difference in how you experience a divorce. If you are struggling, consider consulting with your attorney for referrals to healthcare providers as well as practical suggestions on how to cope.
For more information – reach out to Malech Law or Jennifer Gularson, PA-C, IFMPC.